I always thought, I am a supporter of feminism and I believe in Women. I always wanted to set an example for society for this matter. Always doing things and looking for opportunities that will prove me equal to a Man. For example in Diwali, I look for chores like fixing the light, putting flower garlands at heights instead of cooking food, and helping with puja stuff. In college also, I would dress like guys with big hoodies and messy hair not caring what I look like or how messed up my nails are. I thought I was different. I used to be friends with people who get angry at patriarchy and stuff, hated people who make fun of women, and think that women can’t do much.
Recently something happened which blew my mind totally and shattered my beliefs of me being a feminist. We all know Beyonce right? well, I have heard about her in many references and I knew that she is a big deal but not until recently I searched about her on the internet after hearing one more reference in some stand-up comedy. I was shocked to realize that she is she and not he, which I thought she was for almost my whole life. This same incident happened to me with J.K. Rowling a few years ago. At that time I just ignored it as I wasn’t much of a feminist as I am now. So the thing was, subconsciously I couldn’t process that a person as important as Beyonce or J.K. Rowling could not be a man!
Patriarchy is engraved in us. This mentality has taken so deeper place in our brains that despite not wanting, we end up judging situations through the eyes of a misogynist. this small incident made me look deeper into my subconscious beliefs, stop feeling so different, and stop judging people so quickly. I realized, we all are learning and unlearning every second that we live. we just need to be less rigid of our beliefs and keep checking and updating. Having a set of rigid beliefs may result in more and more chaos and being stuck in one place forever and rob us of the joy of leaving the world a better place than we found it.